First dating you remember when things where hot and heavy, 1-2, maybe 3 times a day? The sexy texts have come to an end. That leaves you day dreaming, and burning the midnight oil was something you both could look forward to, seeing what would make the other tic. What happened?
“Well you’re completely normal” (yeah right) “However, most relationships have the tendencies to come to a restful hault.”, Explains Chris Sterrett, MD, of the Holtorf Medical Group in Pasadena, Calif. So happens, 10 to 20 percent of sexually active relationships in the US are Characterized as “sexless” (Which is means the couples have sex 10 times or less per 365 days.)
But the reasons why you’re not getting freaky like you used to may come to a surprise everything from “Porn addiction” to Medication lowering the libido here are 8 reasons why you’re having less sex, and how to over come it.
Day in day out is your daily schedule and putting a toll on your sex life. Dazzel the boss, make the extremely mundane commute back home, microwave some ramen and like that you are out like a light. But why? Well physical exhaustion can really do you in and can stress you sex drive. “You’re so exhausted — physically and mentally — that the mere idea of intercourse seems laborious,” says Philip A. Rutter, PhD, a Philadelphia psychologist and assistant professor in human sexuality graduate programs at Widener University.
Solutions? Morning sex of course! Stated by Dr. Rutter, “If you can both run to get some mouthwash first, morning sex can be great,” Rutter says. “Men typically wake with an erection, so half the work is done.”
This is effected towards women when they reach their 40s,
estrogen levels drop. “Low estrogen in women can lead to a lower libido,” Dr. Sterrett says. Not to mention, the less estrogen, the less lubricated vaginal tissues become, and that can make penetration painful. And those hot flashes (which are a result of fluctuating estrogen levels) can also kill your sex drive.
If you experience hormone changes chances are it’s effecting your libido, talk to your physician. You can purchase lubricants at most every major retailer and are simple aid to bring sex back to life. Hormone replacement therapy is another method (however this option comes pros as well as cons.)
Who knew sex could be turned into a mundane task? Well it’s a good way to kill your
sex drive that’s for sure. Getting into a routine and the Same ol’ same ol’ is the worst
thing that can happen to you! Well not quite “It is utterly and completely normal for you and your partner to wax and wane on your levels of attraction to each other,” says Rutter.
If you two aren’t turning each other on like you had been before, take the bull by the horns and make the effort to turn things up. Watch porn together, wait that’s crazy right? Well it’s Not as crazy as it seems “Porn can actually help foster emotional and sexual intimacy,” says Colorado psychologist David Schnarch, author of Resurrecting Sex: Solving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing Your Relationship,
“A significant portion of our work in helping couples develop a deeper sexual connection is through erotic images. Erotica, as well as couples’ own masturbatory fantasies, can be useful tools for helping them develop as adults,” he explains. Fantasy is part of a healthy sex life, and porn adds to the repository of sexy scenarios in our heads. It can also inspire couples to experiment more in the bedroom (or outside of it if that’s where their fantasies lead them).
From the words of Bon Jovis popular late 80s song (Bad Medicine) is not only catchy but accurate to boot. Many medications may lower ones sex drive, from drugs for heartburn and even birth control can cause a low sex drive other symptoms that might be killing the love bug are, high blood pressure, and depression. Give your medical physician a call, and see what the alternatives may be with lesser sexual side effects.
An example might be, the antidepressants bupropion (Wellbutrin) or Mirtazapine (Remeron) doesn’t effect your libido as Fluoxetine (Prozac), sertraline (Zoloft), paroxetine hydrochloride (Paxil), and many others alike.
It’s an uncommon misconception booze go together like peas and carrots but that’s not at all the case. “Surprisingly, while one or two drinks may put you both in the mood, drinking too much can inhibit a woman’s ability to reach orgasm,” Rutter says. “As for men, too many drinks can lead to erectile dysfunction or ejaculatory incompetence.”
While drinking brings both parties good intentions odds are good intentions they’re not. Drunk sex will not only cloud ones judgement in the “wear protection department” and leave you susceptible to STDs, HIV, and pregnancy, next time try two or three stiff drinks that should get the party started.
All day you keep your face buried in your phone, tablet, computer or some other device but much like everything else has a time and place and if it’s in the bed with you you can forget about sex as often, what may seem like no big deal to you. your counterpart may feel whatever you’re doing is more important to you than themselves.
As far as I’m concerned, the bed has two purposes. Sleep and sex.
Not feeling to hot? Feel fat and unattractive? Well odds are it’s taking a toll on your sex life. “When men and women struggle with their weight and feel less attractive, their desire drops dramatically,” Rutter says. “In fact, a recent survey found that half of women let their worries about weight follow them into the bedroom and some of them shy away from intimacy all together.”
But what to do about it? If your counterpart is down in the dumps, let them know you’re favorite sexiest attribute. Even the smallest attributes do them a solid (no pun intended). If you’re the one that’s not feeling tip top, let yourself accept the compliment and let it turn on to you.
You love each other I’m sure (or you have bigger problems). Whatever the case, you two might have been having a rough couple of days.
Bickering is very typical and usually minor and aren’t deal breakers, however if you don’t work them out, if the storm doesn’t blow over you both could be very bitter for quite sometime. And can really eliminate your chances of play time. Couples with the best sex lives don’t stew, Rutter says, “so tell your partner what’s bothering you before you retire for the night.”